I’m surrounded. I watch the trees growing and trying to feel just; no, aching for just a soft touch of heaven. It reminds me of how hard I am trying to. I watch the leaves falling, but I don’t actually see it. The severe wind is so strong, suddenly pushing me harshly, flat to the ground. I expect to feel the wet soil, but I feel nothing, noticing I’m falling in a hole of scathing numbness. It wasn’t there seconds ago, but the numbness is always right on time to keep me from feeling. I keep falling and realize there’s nothing I can do about it. The viscious circle of life goes on and on, while I don’t progress anything. It’s like my eyes can still see, but my soul is blind.
I don’t know why I keep going back to the woods at night, having to fight my demons over and over again. I’m so tired, but my soul doesn’t know how to respond. All its senses are dead. Don’t you know people can be dead before they’ve actually died?